You can't choose, Silly...
As I sit on my couch listening to Opera, sipping green tea with two candles lit in front of me, I contemplate family. Family in the blood-relations aspect. I shan't be delving into my friends who are my family, but rather family in the common denotation of : "any group of persons closely related by blood, as parents, children, uncles, aunts, and cousins." Wikipedia has it's own take on family. And the US Census Bureau has defined a family as: A group of two or more people who reside together and who are related by birth, marriage, or adoption.
Great. What does it all mean? Well, sit back and enjoy a cup of whatever you desire and listen to what ever music you will. I am going to provide an exegesis of my own family and the most incredible juxtaposition of culture that exists in it. I encourage you to take a step back and analyze your own family from the eyes of an outsider and look at the relationships that have developed and on what basis they are formed. I ensure you they are not simply due to familial consanguinity.
As I enjoyed an evening with at my sister's house I took several moments to observe and really look at who my family is. Let me back up a second. From here on out when I refer to sister, I really mean half-sister. We all have the same father, but different mothers. Also, there is a 22 year age gap from my to my youngest "sister." This makes for interesting discourse and inter-relational issues on a normal basis, let alone the havoc of the holidays. Also, note that this is one side of my family. The other side I am completely indifferent towards and care not what happens in their daily lives. I only care how it affects my mother and step-father.
Let us begin. As I stood in my sister's kitchen and surveyed the scene, I realized how different everyone in the room truly was. Let me pan the room for you, starting from left to right. One of my nieces and her boyfriend. She is 22 and is unemployed, didn't go to college, lives with her boyfriend and dresses like she is going to a club at all times when I see her. Oh, she's also a compulsive liar. Her boyfriend who is at least three times her size is next to her. Next we have one of my nephews who is 28, has a kid, works at Walmart in the Electronics department? He is about my height, has bright red hair and thinks his skin is several shades darker than ebony. He dresses like it too. Next, his brother also of the same persuasion in dress and attitude. Then we have my youngest sister's husband (number 4 husband?) who is almost legally blind. My sister married him surely for his lack of desire to do anything with his life. Then we have my youngest sister. We have a name for her involving the word "cooler." Not because she is somehow colder nor more "with it" than we are, but because that is what is usually in her hand: a cooler. She used to play the role of "medical authority" in the family. Next to her is my middle sister who is legally blind in one eye. She also thinks she is several shades darker than ebony. She was describing how she can't afford to buy a cellphone plan because she can't afford a down payment. Next to her is my second oldest sister with her ex-husband. They got divorced so he could run off with his internet girlfriend, but now are back together living in a small apartment or house somewhere north of where we are from. His brother is in jail for shooting at the police when they came to investigate his trailer where he had enough weapons to occupy Paris. My former brother-in-law maintains that his brother was in the right. Also he is the most racist person I have ever met in my life. Their kids are next to them. They are non-descript. One is going to Indiana Business College, the other still in high school. They are "small town" and have some aspirations. In the next room is another nephew and his girlfriend. He is 20 and has a band. He works two or three jobs to get money, but still lives at home with his parents, whose house I'm at currently. He has half a dozen tattoos and smokes. He is actually a very bright kid just on the artsy side of things. His girlfriend appears to have a solid head on her shoulders. She can hold a conversation, but I don't know much else. Next we have another niece, who graduated high school, puttered around a bit and is now going to start Beauty School. She is an attractive girl who despises her mother, my youngest sister, for being a drunk and divorcing her father (my sister's first husband). She views most people in our family with disdain and looks down on them. Behind me we have my fourth sister, whose house I'm at, and her husband. My sister is a house cleaner and a Mrs-Fix-it. She gets that directly from my dad. She is the most down-to-earth sister that I have. I am the closest to her. Her husband is a high level manager at a regionally operated chain of supercenter-like stores. He is also down-to-earth albeit incredibly lenient on his son. On the phone is my oldest sister who lives out of state and actually went to some college. She works for a welfare office I believe. She hates my middle sister and can barely stand my youngest sister. She just moved in with her boyfriend and her daughter, 33, is getting married in October. Her daughter has her masters in something biology related. Then there's me. Standing in the middle of this roller-coaster of booze and food observing it all.
Where to begin analyzing... much of it speaks for itself. Although put it in the context of me, a self-involved, cynical bastard who used to avoid family functions. The old adage that you can't choose your family has never rung more true than when I was a party of this debacle. Going from my parent's house in the outskirts of suburbia in an upper middle class neighborhood in the morning to this house full of people would be a culture shock for anyone. I even adjusted my wardrobe accordingly. I usually wear a collared shirt and/or a sweater and some nice pants to Christmas or my parent's house. I wore jeans and a cycling jersey with a zip sweater over to go to my sister's. It is smoky and they have a dog, so I end up smelling like ass when I leave regardless of the quantity of my sister's famous beans I consume.
I'm sure that my father is looking down on me right now swearing under his breath that I didn't take more charge after he left. But slowly I am assuming the patriarchal duties of the family. My sisters are starting to view their little brother in that role. Regardless of what I think of individual members of my family, someone needs to take the helm and lead them, shepherd them, and if need be, provide at least some sound advice for them.
That was a long diatribe into my life as I have told very little people. Not even my closest friends know the extent of my family and our relationships. I'm sure some don't care to know. If you made it to the end of this post in one sitting: congratulations are due to you. All I ask is that you take a look at your family and realize that everyone comes from a little different angle in life and together you and they have formed who you are today. So we're all a little ghetto, redneck, artsy, educated, and quarrelsome with family, but at the end of the day, family is who helps define us.
Shout out to DLMWS and his road-tripping. Don't use headphones too much.
Great. What does it all mean? Well, sit back and enjoy a cup of whatever you desire and listen to what ever music you will. I am going to provide an exegesis of my own family and the most incredible juxtaposition of culture that exists in it. I encourage you to take a step back and analyze your own family from the eyes of an outsider and look at the relationships that have developed and on what basis they are formed. I ensure you they are not simply due to familial consanguinity.
As I enjoyed an evening with at my sister's house I took several moments to observe and really look at who my family is. Let me back up a second. From here on out when I refer to sister, I really mean half-sister. We all have the same father, but different mothers. Also, there is a 22 year age gap from my to my youngest "sister." This makes for interesting discourse and inter-relational issues on a normal basis, let alone the havoc of the holidays. Also, note that this is one side of my family. The other side I am completely indifferent towards and care not what happens in their daily lives. I only care how it affects my mother and step-father.
Let us begin. As I stood in my sister's kitchen and surveyed the scene, I realized how different everyone in the room truly was. Let me pan the room for you, starting from left to right. One of my nieces and her boyfriend. She is 22 and is unemployed, didn't go to college, lives with her boyfriend and dresses like she is going to a club at all times when I see her. Oh, she's also a compulsive liar. Her boyfriend who is at least three times her size is next to her. Next we have one of my nephews who is 28, has a kid, works at Walmart in the Electronics department? He is about my height, has bright red hair and thinks his skin is several shades darker than ebony. He dresses like it too. Next, his brother also of the same persuasion in dress and attitude. Then we have my youngest sister's husband (number 4 husband?) who is almost legally blind. My sister married him surely for his lack of desire to do anything with his life. Then we have my youngest sister. We have a name for her involving the word "cooler." Not because she is somehow colder nor more "with it" than we are, but because that is what is usually in her hand: a cooler. She used to play the role of "medical authority" in the family. Next to her is my middle sister who is legally blind in one eye. She also thinks she is several shades darker than ebony. She was describing how she can't afford to buy a cellphone plan because she can't afford a down payment. Next to her is my second oldest sister with her ex-husband. They got divorced so he could run off with his internet girlfriend, but now are back together living in a small apartment or house somewhere north of where we are from. His brother is in jail for shooting at the police when they came to investigate his trailer where he had enough weapons to occupy Paris. My former brother-in-law maintains that his brother was in the right. Also he is the most racist person I have ever met in my life. Their kids are next to them. They are non-descript. One is going to Indiana Business College, the other still in high school. They are "small town" and have some aspirations. In the next room is another nephew and his girlfriend. He is 20 and has a band. He works two or three jobs to get money, but still lives at home with his parents, whose house I'm at currently. He has half a dozen tattoos and smokes. He is actually a very bright kid just on the artsy side of things. His girlfriend appears to have a solid head on her shoulders. She can hold a conversation, but I don't know much else. Next we have another niece, who graduated high school, puttered around a bit and is now going to start Beauty School. She is an attractive girl who despises her mother, my youngest sister, for being a drunk and divorcing her father (my sister's first husband). She views most people in our family with disdain and looks down on them. Behind me we have my fourth sister, whose house I'm at, and her husband. My sister is a house cleaner and a Mrs-Fix-it. She gets that directly from my dad. She is the most down-to-earth sister that I have. I am the closest to her. Her husband is a high level manager at a regionally operated chain of supercenter-like stores. He is also down-to-earth albeit incredibly lenient on his son. On the phone is my oldest sister who lives out of state and actually went to some college. She works for a welfare office I believe. She hates my middle sister and can barely stand my youngest sister. She just moved in with her boyfriend and her daughter, 33, is getting married in October. Her daughter has her masters in something biology related. Then there's me. Standing in the middle of this roller-coaster of booze and food observing it all.
Where to begin analyzing... much of it speaks for itself. Although put it in the context of me, a self-involved, cynical bastard who used to avoid family functions. The old adage that you can't choose your family has never rung more true than when I was a party of this debacle. Going from my parent's house in the outskirts of suburbia in an upper middle class neighborhood in the morning to this house full of people would be a culture shock for anyone. I even adjusted my wardrobe accordingly. I usually wear a collared shirt and/or a sweater and some nice pants to Christmas or my parent's house. I wore jeans and a cycling jersey with a zip sweater over to go to my sister's. It is smoky and they have a dog, so I end up smelling like ass when I leave regardless of the quantity of my sister's famous beans I consume.
I'm sure that my father is looking down on me right now swearing under his breath that I didn't take more charge after he left. But slowly I am assuming the patriarchal duties of the family. My sisters are starting to view their little brother in that role. Regardless of what I think of individual members of my family, someone needs to take the helm and lead them, shepherd them, and if need be, provide at least some sound advice for them.
That was a long diatribe into my life as I have told very little people. Not even my closest friends know the extent of my family and our relationships. I'm sure some don't care to know. If you made it to the end of this post in one sitting: congratulations are due to you. All I ask is that you take a look at your family and realize that everyone comes from a little different angle in life and together you and they have formed who you are today. So we're all a little ghetto, redneck, artsy, educated, and quarrelsome with family, but at the end of the day, family is who helps define us.
Shout out to DLMWS and his road-tripping. Don't use headphones too much.
Labels: Family
posted by runrMD08 at 7:04 PM
2 Comments:
While our families help mold us, I agree they don't define us. There is something to be said about learning from other's mistakes, non so prevalent as the up-close-and-personal family members lives. I won't lie, I'm shocked by this element of your life. I always thought you to be an only child, that self-involved, cynical bastard thing helped out with that assumption. I applaud your honesty and openness. l
Were i a playwright, you just gave me one of the richest scenes i have every known. this is enough to make many dramatic plays. though not my initial adjective, this group is diverse, also profoundly American.
Happy New Years.
i survived a roadtrip through two blizzards.
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