Relief

Finals are over. Final count of coffee was in the 400's of oz. Well over the goal of 256 oz. I am confident that I had about 3 gallons in a week and a half. Now its just time to detox from my caffienated study session.

In the time immediately after finals people are still in a whipped dog mentality. The feeling that you are continually being beat down by "the man". The beauty of "Winter Break" has not set in yet. Once you have a meal and realize that you have nothing left to do for school this calendar year, the relief appears. The kind of relief that can be had only by having nothing to do. The post finals experience gets more and more difficult. It becomes an ever challenging transition between study and do nothing. As school progresses, the amount and speed at which studying is done accelerates. This becomes problematic when a break hits. I equate it to a crash test dummy. The car is at standstill with the "dummy" (aka medical student) in the driver seat. The car goes from 0 to 60 in a split second only to run head first into a reinforced concrete barrier. Whiplash, some cuts and scrapes, and pain when breathing are just some of the problems. Now just imagine what the crash test engineer feels. (I don't think that "dummy" is the PC term anymore.) Running head first into a standstill is probably why many medical students develop drinking problems. You spend all your time studying and then you suddenly have nothing to do and need to blow off some steam => drinking time. Not just recreational drinking. I'm talking drinking with the same intensity with which you study, like its your job. (because basically it is. you are enslaved by class, professors, and let us not forget the amount of debt that you have accrued.) School sucks even breaks from it suck.

coffee is good

I have had 320 oz of coffee since last friday and the day is not done yet. I'm 64 oz in the bonus over my goal of two gallons. I can still sleep at night, and my heart hasn't exploded yet. Yet, with the increasing coffee and a reciprocal decrease in the time left to study for finals, I feel as though my motivation has all but run out. I spent four hours last night watching crap on television. Although, after this semester I only have one more semester of final exams left in my life. Kind of... that doesn't count the exam that I have to take over the first two years of medical school or the other licensing exams that I have to take to graduate and get a job. I hate school.

update

I was hoping for some existential post on life in medicine. Or an in depth look at the rigors of studying over 60 hours in a week. Its actually closer to 80. But, with all the studying I've done lately there is little room in my brain for a diatribe to emerge. The only thing taking up space in my brain is Path. Hey, only two finals. Too bad they are going to be the hardest finals I've ever taken. No, there will be no such post. Just an update on the coffee intake:

160 oz. of coffee since Friday. I have about a week left and only 96 oz. left.

power outage

I awoke to the sound of my alarm this morning. That sound I hate so much. I promptly responded by hitting the snooze, three times. The next memory that I have is waking up an hour and a half later. Apparently our power went out. Sweet. Not that I have over 700 pages for one class, 400 pages of notes for another class, and three take home tests to finish. I'm not concerned. Obviously, I'm taking three hours out to watch the Colts game. I did, however, study this morning and ingest antother 16 oz of coffee. I'll just have to make up for the lost study time later on in the day and ingest more caffiene. That way I won't feel like a complete waste.

Current count: 96 oz of coffee. Almost halfway there with 7.5 days to go. Maybe I should have made my goal three gallons.

Done with another semester

Three semesters down, one more of lectures, four of clinicals left. I have forgotten more things in the last three semesters than I think ever before in my life. Its a cycle of binge and purge. Let the week long studying begin. A week without class dedicated to allowing you to study for a final over more information than two undergrad semesters. Continuing the coffee quest...

Current count: 48 oz.

More to come.

Study time

Let it begin: the coked out, caffiene fueled, eyes bloodshot, cranky, contemplating quitting, ever-closer to psychotic break, fun-filled study week. All leading up to the anti-climactic finals week. All this work for 2 freaking exams. That sounds familiar, where have I heard that before? Oh yeah, comprehensive exams for undergrad. Nothing better than studying for ever class in your major all packed into two days. Or, if you are a big enough masochist, you double major and have four days of tests. Joy.

On the bright side, I'm catching up on my reading of dilated cardiomyopathy and giant cell arteritis, everyone's favorite topics. My goal is to ingest 2 gallons of coffee in the period of a week and a half. Think I can do it? Think I can't? I used to drink a pot a day in undergrad during comps studying and finals week. I'll keep you updated on my quest for permanent tachycardia (that's a rapid heart rate for those not of the medical world). What's my incentive you ask? Why would you do this to yourself? Why not? What the hell else do I have to do other than study for the next week and a half? I'm not dating anyone, through no fault of my own, well recently that is. I have zero personal ties, except to some people in my class and a few of those are loose connections. And so... a nod to one of my exes, who tried to get me to quit drinking caffiene. Up yours! I'm trading in my caffiene free chai for ultra-caffienated coffee. Let the jitters and palpatations begin.

Playlist: anything that will keep me awake and studying (techno)