Wedding Crashing

Found these while surfing to quell my emotions.
The Rules of Wedding Crashing:
Trivia for Wedding Crashers

Enjoy

Death

One of my friends died last night in D.C. He was only 23 years old. He had his life ahead of him. It was snatched from him in the blink of an eye. A smart, educated, philosophically minded Catholic. A great 400 meter runner. A Wabash man. Ken will be missed by many.
Wabash Mourns

Give me my leg back!!

Now, depending on how you read this article will determine how hilarious you think it is. I'll just give you the byline and let you read it for yourself: Girl's prosthetic legs stolen for second time

Now, what kind of motivation do you need to steal a prosthetic leg? Are you that hard up for money that you're going to sell it? I'm just trying to picture the conversation that lead up to this. Did they survey the house first and say, "We're robbing this house because they have prosthetic legs?" Were these bozos searching for people with prosthetic legs to rob? Or were they robbing the house and then coincidentally stumbled upon the prosthetic leg and decided it would be a good idea to steal it? Then they proceeded to put everything else back and take the leg? And what kind of fence are you going to that will actually buy this thing and has enough confidence in it's resale value? I mean you don't just walk up to a pawn shop and sell a prosthetic leg do you? I mean it's not generic like crutches or a walker; it is a specially designed piece of medical equipment. And if you are going to go through all the trouble to stake out the house and take the leg, why leave it in the backyard? Did they decide on the way out of the yard that they had made a mistake and had gotten last year's model? Were they stealing it for their friend with one leg, and she specifically wanted the 2006 Kawasaki 893X model? I mean crack heads don't think like this. They just rob people in the street to go buy crack. They don't steal legs to sell them. Unbelieveable. Unfathomable.

Running Tunes

Many people like to run with music. Plug your headphones into your iPod, or whatever you are using, and go. I like to switch up what I listen to while I run. Sometimes I listen to a podcast specifically about running, called Phedippidations. It is produced by a marathoner out of New England, who publishes the cast once a week. I recommend it for listening while running, while driving, while doing anything. You can find it on iTunes or at Steve Runner. In addition, or alternative to that, I listen to techno, hip hop, alternative, whatever I feel motivates me to run. It also depends upon the workout that I'm doing. If I'm going for a long run, I'll choose techno, because the song lasts an average of 45 min to an hour. If I'm doing a speed workout, I'll choose some Beastie Boys or Cake, because it's faster paced. It depends solely upon your taste of music.

As another alternative to listening to music, routinely I will go without music if I'm out on a long run. That way I can collect my thoughts and reflect upon any issues in my training that I'm focusing on currently or any issues in my life, random thoughts, ideas for blog posts, usually not school, but occasionally that creeps in. I would like to hear what you listen to while you work out, run, lift, zone out... whatever.

Here is a brief list of some of the bands/songs/podcasts that I listen to while I run:
(Podcasts) Phedippidations, Percussion Lab Presents, EverymanTriathlon.com, Running Radio
(Bands (in no specific order)) Beastie Boys, Cake, Pearl Jam, Benny Benassi, The Bloodhound Gang, AGAINST ME!, Chemical Brothers, Eminem, Fall Out Boy, Kanye West, Paul Oakenfold, Mos Def, Notorious BIG, Blink 182, The Dandy Warhols, Nirvana, My Chemical Romance, and others...

I find that I have to mix up my music, by either having it on shuffle or changing playlists. Otherwise, I get bored, the last thing you want to do while running. Keep your mind occupied and off the fact that you're punishing yourself for no good reason. Some people use mantras for this. I just think about something else. There is always plenty to think about while you are in BFE running on country roads or trails. If you don't like my music: I don't care; it works for me. But, Runners World has a link to music that some actually good runners listen to: Listen While You Run

Size: Is it really worth everything?

The entire world took a further step into the toilet this last year. A Reuters news story today stated an incredible finding. The Long and Short of it According to researchers in Europe, if there is such a thing, the most hyped surgery currently is penis enlargement. Who or what is to thank for all this hype? Spam. All that crap that you receive in your inbox has contributed to a slew of morons actually partaking in this ridiculous surgery, genital cosmetic surgery. Yes, you read that correctly, genital, not general, genial, nor congenital, genital cosmetic surgery. (A side note: this is not limited to males. Females are partaking in this slew of idiocy as well.) I can't make this stuff up, it's too unbelievable.

A further factor in this perpetuation of nonsense are shows like Nip/Tuck on FX, A Gender Story on TLC, and True Life, I'm Addicted to Plastic Surgery on MTV. I saw something on Nip/Tuck where a woman had her lips implanted onto her labia. On MTV, they had some woman that had over 60 plastic surgeries. I'm sure at least one of them was on her vagina. I know she had her breasts done a couple times. Alright, I made up the gender story thing, but I did watch something on TLC about a doc who had "gender reassignment surgery" and then performed them for s/her patients. (It was on at like 2AM, and I have a touch of insomnia sometimes. I think it comes with the territory.) Conflict of interest? You decide. I digress.

Few questions: Are these emails portraying the entire truth about the surgery? (Need you really ask this?) Are these morons satisfied with their enlargement surgeries? (and finally, for my own personal benefit) What is the average increase in size? Is it worth it?

A further question: what insurance do you have that will pay for this thing? "Excuse me, I'd like to enlarge my penis. Is that included in my policy?" I can only imagine the expression on the insurance agent's face.

Okay, here we go: Are these emails 100% truthful? Absolutely not. These emails, in addition to being inaccurate and giving unrealistic expectations, are downright criminal, but then again, they are targeting morons. "Stupid is forever."- Ron White. Are these bozos satisfied with going under general anesthetic and having someone needlessly cut on their penises? Nope. According to these researchers, the dissatisfaction rate was in excess of 70%, and most men asked for another surgical procedure. Okay, the question that you all want to know. What is the average increase in size? A whopping 1.3 cm, which is roughly half an inch. Now, if you only have a 3 inch penis (erect) to begin with, that is a 16.67% increase in size, which you might consider to be worth it. But, if you have a 3 inch penis to begin with, you should probably keep that to yourself. You know should know that even the docs doing this procedure will be laughing at you. Take my advice for what you will. I am not a physician.

The most interesting line of this article was the last one, stating that patients inquiring about this surgery should be referred to psychological counseling. The results of this study are reported in the journal of European Urology.

Dog Treat

So, today while out on my weekly long run. It was supposed to be 5 miles, but I went 6. I know this isn't really a long run, but it's the first week of my training schedule, so its supposed to be easy. I digress. So I'm out on my run minding my own business in the snow, when I see these three dogs run out of their yard and into the road in front of me. They are barking and look like they haven't been fed in a week or so. Mind you, I'm out in BFE while this is happening. On my left is their yard, which has a pseudo-fence. On my right is a barbed wire fence. So, as I slowly back away from the lead dog, which is a giant poodle, a dog I despise, I'm running options through my head. I can a.) find something to swing at these dogs and further piss them off. b.) run at these things and take my chances of getting bit.(mind you I'm wearing about 1/8" of fabric on my legs, which these dogs think of as drumsticks) c.) continue to back up and run an extra couple of miles out of my way. d.) pray their owner hears them barking. So, as any choose your own adventure book, you make your own ending. You can think of scenarios that follow each of these options.

The real ending goes something like this: I continue to back up slowly from these unfriendly doggies with my hands up for what seems to be an eternity. When out of my left field of vision I see their owner, some hilljack wearing this winter's plaid collection. She calls her dogs back as I stand there in my urine puddle. The dogs retreat back to the yard. After about 20 seconds I decide they are far enough away from me that I can continue on without the fear of becoming a late lunch.

Maybe I'll start carrying some sort of dog repellent. Or I'll just accept the fact that I seem to attract dogs and have an uncanny ability to encounter Terre Haute's finest individuals in my daily life here. This place sucks.

Smart Cards for Smart Doctors

This week an article in American Medical News touted the first large scale implementation of patient "smart cards." Smart cards test These cards are photo ID cards that have an integrated 64 bit chip which contains encrypted patient information. The type of ingformation on the chip is to the tune of pt. demographics, health history, allergies, meds, and lab results. This information can only be decrypted when the pt. enters their PIN on a card reader. This feature can be overrided in emergent situations when the pt. is unconscious or can't type in the PIN.

These cards will be implemented at Mount Sinai hosptial, New York, along with eight affiliated hospitals and clinics in the New York area. The cards will be used to facilitate patient information between physicians. If this trial, which will begin sometime midyear, is successful, it can be expanded to the entire New York area or the nation. This is part of President Bush's initiative to create a national health network in 10 years.

With the implementation of these cards in the New York area, information can be passed seamlessly between hospitals and clinics. For those of you that aren't in the health care industry, this has the potential to be a revolutionizing move. There are programs now that allow transfer of pt. information between hospitals and related clinics. Unfortunately, if the patient goes to a clinic outside of the network, their labs or films are not accessible. Also, this can facilitate the taking of a pt. history. This can be a decievingly difficult thing. Patients seem to delete or add information depending on who is taking the history. This way their past medical history can be followed and accurately treated.

The potential downside of this is identity fraud. Of course, why would one want to steal the health history of an 81 year old man with a history of type 2 diabetes and congestive heart failure? I don't know either, but I suppose it could happen. What happens if these people lose their cards? What if they keep their ID card next to their credit card and it erases it? What if they don't have a card? Will they still receive the same level of care if they are not included in this study? What type of patients will be given cards? Will they be only patients with chronic disease (DM2, COPD, CHF, hypercholesterolemia, CAD), or will they also be patients like myself with little to no significant past medical Hx? How will they track the efficiency of patient information transfer? This is a hard thing to track, as one might imagine.

With all these questions about data management, patient management, and study composition, the trial should be controversial regardless of the outcome. I'm hoping that the clinical trial shows the cards to be of benefit to patients and physicians. Unfortunately, the results of the clinical trial won't be available for a couple years if that early.

Run Tracker

Hola kiddies,
I have just found my new favorite website. I have sent the link to some of you, but in case I didn't, here it is: America's Running Routes It is better than the running paths that Runner's World has as their monthly focus. Their runs are in places like Key West or through Central Park or somewhere like that. Somewhere not many people visit on a regular basis, well that I don't visit on a regular basis. That's because I'm poor, and apparently will always be if I can't graduate and pay off my f-ing loans.

A little personal aside for me: the feeling that I have towards Pathology right now defies description. It is truly ineffable because of all the emotion tied up in it. It truly pisses me off when I study like crazy for a test and subsequently fail it. Yes, medical students fail exams. It happens, quite frequently apparently. As long as you pass the final, you pass the class. And then, as if that wasn't enough to have someone, who will remain nameless, tell you that tuition is going up 12-20% next year. Just kick me in the nuts face to face. Don't hide behind a desk and a plaque and think that since the govt. cut your funding you can donkey punch all the medical students at the nation's second largest medical school. Cut your own salary and maybe don't spend $500 million for an expansion of a hosptial. How about you stop dicking us around. I think that we have enough, as students and as people trying to live our lives, to worry about without you putting more financial burden upon us. Thanks to all the Deans at IUSM. I appreciate it.

On a happier note, I will be making a trip to Columbus in two weeks to talk about Region V AMA issues. This is a great opportunity to network with other students, learn about some interesting topics from guest lecturers, learn about residency opportunities in Ohio, and to party with people that I haven't seen every day for the last 18 mos. of my shitty existence in this port-a-potty of a town. Bonus: it is all paid for by people who are so wrapped up in their lives and who are so hell-bent upon making a name for themselves, they will do anything to get a good review of their center. I swear the management of this center is here solely to make a name for themselves and prove to someone that they are worthy of something else, something more. God forbid that these jerk-offs (and by these, I mean one jerk-off and his subsequent secretary) are allowed to have more power over people. I think that vindication will be had when, as an alumnus, I will make explicit instructions that my donations NOT be given to any fund this a-hole has any hand in. I would like nothing more for him to take a leave of absence for him to go to Australia, or where ever he thinks is best to follow around some guy who knows Tai-Chi. He worships this guy like the messiah simply because he made his own form of Tai-Chi or knows the 13 styles of Tai-Chi, something asinine like that. (I understand this is a bit hard to follow without names or situations, but that's just the way it has to be right now.)

Enough ranting, check out the USATF website and plan your next run or ride with confidence in the mileage you are traversing.

Check back soon for more websites related to running or cycling or something that will get you off your gluts and outside.

-Seacrest out

Water your beans

The Jelly Belly corporation has unveiled a new product line called Sport Beans. These Sport Beans are targeted toward the growing population of fitness enthusiasts and is Jelly Belly's attempt to break into the $3.2 billion market of energy products. What do these Sport Beans have in them? I'm glad you pondered this question. I wondered the same thing, so I did some investigation. Here is what the corporation says about their new beans.
"Sport Beans by Jelly Belly, made in Lemon Lime and Orange flavors, are larger, traditional jelly beans with something extra. Each one-ounce serving contains 25 grams of carbohydrates, 20% of the daily value for Vitamins C and E, and 120mg of electrolytes to boost energy and maintain hydration. A serving has 100 calories."
(posted on Jelly Belly's website: Sport Beans)
The beans sell for 99 cents for a 1 oz. package and will be available this summer.

Will these beans live up to their companies popularity of the original beans? Will they taste like the original beans or simply a little piece of energy supplement crap? I understand why they are marketing the beans to athletes. First, to get in on the $3.2 billion market that is currently expanding. Second, these beans are their own packaging. You don't have to down an entire packet of GU or Gel or whatever you are using as a carbohydrate supplement while exercising. A word of warning: The key to any carbohydrate replacement product is to DRINK WATER!! These products are loaded with simple sugars and electrolytes that start to be broken down in your mouth by salivary amylase. If you were to "shoot" a gel while running and not drink water in a timely manner, you would cramp up and your mouth would feel like you just tried to eat glue (your stomach would cramp, not your mouth).

Physiologically speaking while exercising your blood is moving faster through your peripheral circulation, all but bypassing completely your GI tract. Skeletal muscle intrinsically requires more energy than your smooth muscle lined GI tract. Therefore, you are not actively digesting food while exercising. If you were to shoot the gel without providing a fluid to initiate distention in your stomach, your body will not divert enough blood to actively absorb the sugars and electrolytes in the gel and you will cramp. You know what I'm talking about. Everyone has shot some gel and then not gotten water in fast enough to avoid that gummy feeling in your mouth. It sucks. So, back to the beans. Make sure if you actually use this product that you suck down some water with the beans. I will grab a packet or two and try them on a long run or ride and let you know what I think.

Fatty eating

Welcome to America, the land of dieting, speed dieting. This is America. We can't do anything fast enough. We are in a hurry for everything. Even to diet. Our culture is in the throws of a bi-peaked distribution of weight classes. I see one section of our nation becoming larger and larger. They eat at McDonald's, Hardee's, Wendy's, Arby's, the list goes on. Fast food- one of the greatest inventions of the 20th century. It all started in California, as many trends do and then moved eastward. People have become dependent upon these "resturants" for their daily intake of calories. Most of these calories are derived directly from fat. These fast-food diets are augmented by a sedentary lifestyle. A lifestyle that generates so many health problems including but not limited to: hypercholesterolemia, coronary artery disease, diabetes mellitus, COPD, and congestive heart failure.

The other peak in the distribution are people who are very concerned with their weight and health. These people are so concerned with their weight and health that they have become obsessed. Now, don't misunderstand me, it is great to watch your weight and be active. It is the greatest thing. It makes me happy that these people are so concerned with their health, but they carry it to an extreme. These are the people that try to eliminate fat completely in their diet. These people go on the Atkin's and never wean themselves off. Or they go on a juice diet. (I have met these pepole) There is a right and a wrong way to monitor your diet and be concerned about your health. It is not healthy to cut fat out of your diet completely. Here is an article that might help if you are going to cut fat down in your diet: Healthy fat

Gladiatorum Rashes

Dermatology, everyone's favorite lectues. They are filled with pictures of gentilia loaded with ulcerative lesions, seeping wounds, and outright bleeding. On the other end of the spectrum are pictures of every type of mole and pimple known to man. The plethora of diseases the human body can harbor is mind numbing. The purpose of these lectures of morbidity and mortality is simply this: exposure. It has been brought to my attention that no resident or attending physician expects you to remember the plethora of diseases and conditions that can result in the human body. Comforting. I'm paying $44,000 a year to listen to lectures that I'm not really expected to know. Why would someone want to become a dermatologist? They have one of the most competitive residencies. Why? Why would you want to look at skin all day? Good hours and good pay. Those are pretty much all the reasons I can come up with. It's surprising the amount of gore that you are exposed to in medical school, and you take it all in stride. You start to look for the gorey pictures. No one thinks of the people that have these diseases we are observing. These people's disease is no longer self-limited or treatable. It now can last forever. Their disease is now cemented in time through their pictures. No wonder why some cultures fear that pictures will steal their souls. It will.